Faking my own Suicide
by IfIShouldStay
Summary: Song-fic. "Faking My Own Suicide" by Relient K. James' new plan to get lily. set in their 7th year.


Summery: James' newest plan to get Lily. Song-fic. "Faking My Own Suicide" by RelientK. please R&R! I don't own harry Potter or the song!!! now read!!

James Potter ran into the 7th year Gryffindor boys Dorms at Hogwarts. '_I'm so bloody smart! This is so going to work!!_' he thought, as jumped on his best mate, Sirius', bed. Sirius looked up a James' smiling face, and studied him.

"Ether you just Pranked Snape, or you talked to Lily, and she didn't yell. What's up?" He asked. James Laughed.

"Padfoot, I just came up with the best idea to get Lily!" James said.

"And what would that be?" Sirius asked. James pulled a note book out of his bag and opened it to the marked place.

"I'm going to fake my death!" James said, smiling again. Sirius laughed.

"You're joking right?" James shook his head.

"No!" James replied. "This is what we'll do"

_So, I've made up my mind  
I will pretend to leave this world behind  
and in the end, you'll know I've lied  
to get your attention  
I'm faking my own suicide _

_I'm faking my own suicide  
Because I know you love me  
You just haven't realized_

_I'm faking my own suicide  
They'll hold a double funeral  
Because a part of you will die  
Along with me_

Next day

Lily Evens looked down the table as she heard someone sob. That when see saw that there was a group of girls, all dressed in black, sitting around Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Potter was no where in site _'maybe he's still asleep. Doesn't he know, Now that he's head boy he needs to get on time?' _she thought _'Stupid Potter'_ She stood up and walked over to the weeping girls. '_Why are they crying?'_Remus looked paler then usual, and his eyes were a little red, Black looked the same. He, like the weeping girls wore black clothes._'What's going on?' _

"Black! Where's Potter?" Lily asked. The girls all started crying harder. Sirius hugged the one closest to him.

"Don't you know?" One girl, Who Lily now realized was Katie Baker a 6th year.

"Know what?" Lily asked Katie looked over at Remus. He nodded and looked up at Lily.

"Lily, James killed himself last night. He cut his wrists." Remus said Lily eye went wide. _'Potter's dead?'_ Her eye filled with tears. _'No, no, NO!' _Remus dug around in his bag and pulled out a peace of note book paper, and handed it to her.

"He wrote you this. I found it this morning" Lily took it and nodded. Then she turned and ran out the hall. She ran out to the lake and fell to the grown and tears started falling down her face. _'Oh god!' _she thought_ 'I never told him that I loved him…I've loved him since 6__th__ year!'_

_I wish you thought that I was dead  
So rather than me you'd be depressed instead  
And before arriving at my grave  
You'd come to the conclusion  
You'd loved me all your days  
But it's too late  
Too late for you to say_

_Because I'm faking my own suicide  
Because I know you love me  
You just haven't realized_

_Oh, I'm faking my own suicide  
They'll hold a double funeral  
Because a part of you will die  
Along with me_

Lily looked down at the note book paper in her hands. _'James's last words to me' _

Dear Lily,

I'll start this with I'm sorry. I'm sorry for bugging you and that one prank in first year. I'm sorry for everything. I see now that you will never love me. After everything I've done.

That's why I'm going to kill myself, because I can't live with out you. I can't wake up every day knowing that you will never care, it's too much….cause, I love you Lily Evans. And you hate me. You've told me that enough times. So I'm done.

I've loved you since first year, when I met you on the train. I told the guys that I was going to marry you one day and have little James and Lily's. I see now that I never will and you will be Mrs. Giant Squid. May you have lovely squid babies.

But, know this, my love for you more then six feet deep.

I'll be seeing you,

James

P.s. tell the guys I'm sorry…

_I'll write you a letter that you'll keep  
reminding you your love for me is more than six feet deep  
_

Lily re-read the letter four times. Her tears fell on to the paper. She couldn't believe it, James couldn't be dead. He was fine yesterday when she saw him in class, he was laughing with his friends. He was fine_ 'right? I didn't think he looked sad' _Lily shook her head and looked back at the letter. _'I'll be seeing you' _how did he know you favorite muggle song? She didn't think she ever said anything about it to him. Her mine flashed back to a week ago in the heads dorm, when she had been playing it on her magic powered tape player… had James heard her singing? _'I told the guys I was going to marry you' _she re-read

"And I would have, James, I would have married you. Because…I love you too" Lily said out loud. She got up and put James' letter in her pocket, then walked back in side.

_You say aloud that you would have been my wife  
Right about that time is when I come back to life  
And let you know  
I'd let you know  
_

She walked back in to the great hall. Remus walked over to her as she opened the doors. He hugged her and Lily started sobbing.

"I love him Remus! And I would have married him, had he asked" She whispered.

"I know Lily, I know" Remus said, He walked over to the table and set down. Lily felt him let go over her, just as she was going to open her eyes, strong arms hugged her again. Lily leaned into the embrace, and then hid her face in their robes.

"I love him!" she whispered again.

"Ssshhh, Love, I know" Lily's eyes shot open. That was NOT Remus!

_That all along I was faking my own suicide  
because I know you love me  
you just NEVER realized_

She pulled back and looked up at…_'JAMES!' _her eyes went wide. James was alive! She threw her arms around him and started sobbing again.

"JAMES! You're alive! Your ok!!" She cried, James laughed.

"Of course I am, Love! Would I really leave? I told you in the letter that I'd be seeing you!" she pulled back again, and looked in his eyes.

"It's really you?" she asked, James nodded. Lily smiled, then she shocked James, she kissed him.

_I was faking my own suicide  
I'll walk in that room and see your eyes opened so wide  
Opened so wide  
Because you know  
_

They pulled apart, both smiling. Lily wiped away her tears, and then kissed him again.

"I love you James Potter" she whispered "never leave me again!" James smiled

"I love you too, Lily Evens" He replied. "And, don't worry, I won't" Lily hugged him again and James just held her. Not caring that they were in the great hall and that everyone was watching them.

_  
Because you know you will never leave my side  
Until the day that I die for the first time  
And we'll laugh, yeah we'll laugh  
And we will cry  
So overjoyed at our love that's so alive  
Our love is so alive_

(A/N: well, A new song-fic...it sure helped with my writers block! (even if this is not my best! it was just for fun!) I'm working REALLY hard on finishing the next chapters to my stories. and I'm going to re-do 'The Snape Twins'. I hope to have a new chapter to one of them up soon...I will be finishing them ( I hope!!!) please R&R!!!thanks!  
Kat)_  
_


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